Selling something or getting a message out to the masses has become easier than ever, thanks to sites like Craigslist, but what happens when the postings get a bit too weird? You get ads like the one above. Continue reading to five of the funniest. For those just checking in, here’s the first installment.

[via Manofest]

1. Xbox 360 Cheating

Ok, I know I’m not perfect. Nobody is. But seriously, I try really hard to be a good girl-friend. Yet, despite all this, Mr. Guy decided to break the bond we shared once X-Box 360 moved into his roommate’s house. Suddenly, lying in bed at midnight, I’m thinking he’s going to go in for the kiss, but NO! He whispers in my ear, “One more round of Modern Warfare and I’ll be back up. You just rest here.”

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2. Jealous 300GB USB 2.0 Hard Disk

I’ve long since upgraded from this unique Buffalo 300gb USB 2.0 external hard disk, and now my loss can possibly be yours, too. I admit it, I dallied. I bought a 250gb portable drive – I rationalized it. Meanwhile, the Buffalo faithfully put up with it. And then, she started exhibiting some disturbing inconsistencies. I would plug her in, dutifully waiting for the icon to appear on my desktop. I sometimes waited for hours or days, peering at my desktop with slavish attention, groveling for access to my miserable data.

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3. Tailgater

I get it. You wanted to go faster, and given that you drive a Mitsubishi Lancer maybe you are under the impression that you are fast and/or furious. It actually makes sense to leave some distance for you too. If a deer jumps in front of me and I have to slam on the brakes, I don’t want you crashing into me. Based on your body, your reaction time is only fast in World of Warcraft.

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4. Locomotive Engineer Gives Advice

A train is really, really big. Can we all accept that? Not even your Ram/F350/Hummer/douche-mobile is a match for a locomotive. You say you have a Cummins diesel? Caterpillar? Detroit? Oooooooh. Well I have an EMD 567 on a bad day, and even its pathetic eighteen-hundred horsepower will pound you and your gleaming pickup into the fourth dimension, so please, stay behind the white line!

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5. Lap Sitter Wanted

I have bad back problems, and need someone to sit on my lap for four hours a day,it helps me straighten my. Willing to pay ten dollars/hour, has to be in good shape and looking for a male to do it because they are stronger to do this sort of job. This is not bs ,you could watch tv, use computer I will even give you food.

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