Now that you know where to get free printable Father’s Day cards, here’s six funny quotes to help celebrate the occasion. You’ll find notable quotes from Ernest Hemingway, Bill Cosby, and more after the break, courtesy of About — image above via.

1. Ernest Hemingway

To be a successful father, there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.

2. Red Buttons

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

3. Bill Cosby

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

4. Robert Orben

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

5. Peter De Vries

My father hated radio and he could not wait for television to be invented so that he could hate that too.

6. James Baldwin

If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons.